More Reasons That Life Goes On

It has been a while so this might be a long one. Hold on to your emotions, here we go. 

I don't even know where to start. Over Spring break our family has some pretty crazy, hard days. My Great Grandma was getting some tests done to see what is wrong with here. My Uncle was also getting tests done on his heart and we were waiting to hear the results of these test. On top of that our dear Annie was hospitalized Wednesday night because she was having seizures. We spend most of Wednesday night at the hospital with here. Thursday morning she was transferred to the local Vet. Thursday we had to make the decision to let our friend go. Now I know that not everyone loves does. My family is a dog loving family. We even put them in our family pictures (pictured below). Now I am not a huge dog person, but I cried for most of this 24 hour period that Annie was suffering and I do not feel stupid or ashamed because of that. I never imagined it would be so hard to lose her. She is missed. We did get some good news that day. My uncles test went well, better than we were expecting. He is going to be okay and that makes me very happy. He has a beautiful family and he is loved and need here on this Earth. We did not get anything from my Grandma's test. She is still not doing very well. We are heading out to see her next week. I am excited to see her and serve her in any way I can. We also got a new puppy. Her name is Izzy or Red Devil/Death. Which ever you prefer. She is spoiled and not as cool and Annie. We are working on it. 

Annie is the black and white dog on the right. Foxy is the fat one on the left. 

I said this would be long....

If you know me at all you should be surprised I have not talked about this already. 

That same Thursday night that we had to put Annie down the USU Basketball team played in the WAC tournament in Vegas. I was already emotional drained and their loss just sent me over the edge. I have not even thought about or talked about Basketball. I am finally over that and ready to move on. 

Our team this year had so many trials to over come. If you know me you know that I was right there with the for the ups and downs. Most of the hard core fans were. There was so we many heartbreaks this year and not very many joys. But no one can say that those boys did not give it everything they had all the way to the end. Even though we did not have a great season  my feels never changed for Aggie Basketball. I love being a part of the HURD. I love experiencing the ups and downs with the team and with my class mates. No matter what happens during the season, if the team is still out there giving it their all no one can ever take that a way form Utah State. After every season I go in to a Post Basketball Depression. Which is what is happening now. I need to find something else to help me bring some excitement to my mundane life. I have to  find reasons to make Jessica come to Logan. I need something to look forward to. As of now I have not found that. I still go to school, do homework, go to work, go to sleep, and do it all again the next day. Which sucks. But Aggie Football starts soon and Basketball always comes back with new hope, promise, and  excitement. Until next season I Believe That.... Life Goes On. 

Weak Moments

I did not want to put this on my blog but it have to get it out and that is what my blog is for, to get things off my chest and tell them to everyone and no one. 

I am a smart, pretty, funny girl and I cannot get a date if my life depended on it. I have narrowed this down to two reasons. 1) Boys no longer date they 'hang out' and 2) I am not social enough. There is nothing I can do about the first one. The second one I have a hard time with. All through high school I was social; I had a lot of friends, both boys and girls. My first three years of college I was always out there. I go to all the church meeting and even had parties at my apartment to try and get us all married. That worked for a lot of my roommates. I have had at least one roommate get married every year I have been up here. This year I have stopped going to all the extra ‘get married’ activities and I am still in the same boat. I have no dates, and no hopefuls. So what is the problem? I know I am not the only girl out there with this problem. 

I hate carrying about this so much. I go day-by-day and love myself, I am confident and I don't need a man to make me happy. Some days I even love being single and am thankful I don't have someone in my life, but not today. This is such a first world problem and I hate crying about it. There are people, who don't know where they are going to get their next meal, and people die every minute and here I am crying like a baby because I can't get a date. I want to tell myself that it is just Satan trying to make me feel like there is something wrong with me (if so he does a good job about once every two months) but the way the single wards push marriage on you does not help. They make it seem like this huge deal that we are not getting married fast enough. 

My family does not really understand this, and that is not their fault. My mom dated a lot in high school and married my dad right after high school. My older sister had many dates and multiple boyfriends and now is married and very happy. My younger sister always has a boyfriend and encourages me to get out there and date more. Like I am not out there, like I am not trying. I know they mean well, but this is my trial not theirs. 

So tomorrow I will get back out there and I will keep trying. I will keep praying for strength and guidance. I will continue to have faith and hope that if I live righteously everything that I have been promised will be given to me. But tonight I am going to cry. I am going to let myself wonder what is wrong with me. I am even going to post my thought and feeling on this blog. Tomorrow I will wake up, I will smile, I will laugh and it will not be forced. Tomorrow I will be happy because I deserve to me and my life is wonderful. No matter what happens tomorrow I know that... Life Goes On.

I am Beautiful

It feel like everyone has been talking about this lately but it is on my mind and I would like to share it with who ever sees this. My hope is that my sisters will take a look at this post, but we will see. 

The world has its own idea of beauty that is always changing. I have never been one of those girls that looked at a magazine and said 'I want to look like that lady' but I know there are girl out there who do. Who are these people who get to tell the world what is beautiful and in style. Why should 'they' (whoever they maybe) tell people what to do with their bodies. Every man, women, and child is beautiful in the eyes of God. It that not enough? I guess it all depends on if you care more about what people think of you or what God thinks of you. 

I, for one, know I am a child of God. I am made in his image and not only does he love me but  he thinks I am  beautiful. That is all I need. Are there things about my body that I would not mind changing? Sure, but do I lose sleep over it? No. If this is the way God made me then I will take it and run with it and make it the best I can. 

Beauty is in the eyes of the holder. When I think of beauty these are some of the people that come to mind. they are not models, they are beautiful women/girls. 

All but one of these pictures were not take professorially or edited. This is true beauty to me.

Lauren I always gorgouse no matter what she is doing

Madi is the perfect cheerleader. 

She is nice to everyone and radiant.  

Then there is Amanda. Her beauty does not need words.

These amazing girls all came from a mother who is the same way. She is a strong independent women who does not need the world to tell here she is pretty. I don't think she hears this enough, but she is beautiful and a great example to her four girls. 

Just more reasons that my....Life Goes On.